After waiting for 15 years, I finally received the letter notifying me to appear for a naturalization oath ceremony on October 25, 2007 at Faneuil Hall. I came to the US as an eight year old Korean who did not even know the English alphabet, and now after 15 years of adjusting, learning, and living in the US, I'm about to become a citizen of the United States. I expected to be really happy to finally be completing the arduous process and achieving my family's goal of all of us becoming American, especially after all those years of dealing with paperwork, going in for interviews, and waiting- waiting in lines, waiting for a piece of mail to come, waiting for my files to get approved, etc. There were moments in this long process when our family feared that our paperwork would get rejected and that we would have to spend more money and more time going through the painstaking process again. The underlying mother of all fears was that if this didn't work, then we would have to return to Korea as deportees. And yes, it did take us a long time- 15 years- but finally, all that hard work has paid off and I'm going to be the second person in my family, after my brother, to become a US citizen.

Yet, now that it's about to happen, I'm having mixed thoughts. I know that being a Korean citizen is technically only a formality, and I'll always have my Korean identity with me, regardless of  what the papers say. Even so, it definitely feels a little bittersweet to be letting go of that part of who I am. Nearly two-thirds of my life has been spent in the US, and I'm expecting the bulk of the rest of my life to be spent here as well. Yet, the first 8 years of my life that were spent in Korea are precious to me, and I can't help but feel that I'm letting that part of me go by relinquishing my Korean citizenship. Unfortunately, there's no possibility for me to have dual citizenship because "The Government of the Republic of Korea does not permit dual citizenship after the age of 21," according to a written statement on the Embassy website.

I also just happen to have seen a documentary created, coincidentally, by a Korean-American filmmaker about some of the ugliness that continues to plague US to this day, such as racism, claims to white superiority, discrimination against immigrants, and violent hate crimes. Seeing that made me think, 'Hmm...do I really want to join the ranks of the likes of the man in the video who thoroughly repulsed me with his ignorance, mistreatment of immigrants, sense of false superiority, stubbornness, and stupidity? What is so great about American citizenry that I should give up my Korean citizenship to be in the same category as "Americans" like that?'

I don't yet have the answer to this, except maybe the realization that ugliness, hatred, and ignorance exist everywhere and are a product of the sinfulness of human beings, rather than a product of being American. I'm sure there exists, and I've witnessed, the ugly sides of "being Korean." I also know that having my US citizenship will serve me well in a lot of ways, especially granting me privileges like suffrage. Furthermore, I can FINALLY change my name to Anna Hye-Jin Yoon and not be called Hye-Jin (the WRONG way).

Despite all this, I am still a bit torn and wish there was a way to maybe keep my Korean citizenship. I've been realizing for the past 2-4 years how much I value my Korean heritage, and I don't want this change in legal status to in any way diminish my identity as a Korean. I guess we'll see how it goes, and ultimately, it really is up to me to maintain my Korean heritage and make sure that I don't lose any part of it that I don't want.

Ecuador, Here I Come!

Wow, I can't believe that time (the entire month of January, to be exact) has flown by so quickly and that my trip to Ecuador is coming up in less than 10 hours! I'm very excited about Ecuador and all that I'll get to see and experience, but strangely, there's a part of me that'll miss Cambridge and my happy, busy life here...especially the people. I've definitely been realizing lately that I grow attached to certain people/things/places too quickly. Even though I'm going away for a little less than 2 weeks, there are so many things that I'm gonna miss out on....:P Ah, but the silver lining here is that this just shows how blessed I've been here for the past five months :)

Anyhooooooo, I would appreciate prayers for safe travels, no visa troubles (I don't think there will be any problems, but I'm a little paranoid), and BEAUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL weather in Ecuador- hopefully good enough to get a nice tan ;)